To continue our theme this week, here are another four levels, this time of perfect speech. They come from the teachings of Sangharakshita. I find these helpful because while abstaining from four kinds of speech gives us clarity, practicing four positive kinds of speech does, too. They’re a complimentary set. So consider these positive affirmations of what right speech looks, sounds, and feels like.
First, we want to practice truthfulness. Truthfulness isn’t just about being honest. It includes speaking from our hearts. When we speak, we don’t want to betray what really lies in our hearts (and minds). We want our words to reflect them well. This sounds simple, but if we reflect on this, it’s about getting to the reality underneath all our reactions and emotions. We speak truthfully to what is. And we also speak from and within our truth. Though it’s difficult to explain, I think we know this when we experience it. Remember a time when you felt you truly conveyed what you intended, and you did so in a way that honored who you are. That’s speaking in truthfulness. Those words come with power.
Second, we want to speak with “affectionate awareness” of the person to whom we are speaking. I love this phrase “affectionate awareness.” It means we take a minute to be aware, to take note of what we know to be true about a person, and to hold that person in affection before we say anything. If we can figure out how to hold affectionate awareness before speaking, imagine how much more harmonious and kind our words could be.
Third, we seek to speak in such a way that it expands consciousness. Which sounds…complicated and somewhat out of reach, right? Think of it this way. Fear, anger, and defensiveness shut people down. It prevents them from being open-hearted. When we hurt someone with words, we are, in effect, shutting down their ability to expand their consciousness. It becomes primal reaction, defense, a safety game. So speaking to expand consciousness means using a tone, words, and an approach that offers someone the space to consider opening up, rather than shutting down. This is especially helpful to consider during conflict.
Lastly, to echo Tuesday’s post, perfect speech means speaking in a way that brings harmony and promotes healthy and vibrant connection. It creates a sense of unity between people, because the words are uniting words. It makes me think of the Jewish practice of repairing the breach. Right Speech reaches into those broken places and repairs them with words of healing.
As we prepare for time next week with family, which can often be fraught with tension, try practicing some of these ways of speaking. Maybe you’ll get a little momentum going that will make your Thanksgiving holidays more peaceful and generous. Which is something everyone would be thankful to experience.
This post is part of my series on practicing the Eightfold Path. You can read all my posts on Right Speech here.
