Consider others in the same way you think to care for yourself. Verse 11 of the 37 verses says,

All suffering comes from the wish for your own happiness.
Perfect Buddhas are born from the thought to help others.
Therefore exchange your own happiness
For the suffering of others—
This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

Selfishness is a harmful and empty worldview. When we act selfishly, we think we are getting what we want from life. But in reality, putting our happiness above everyone else only serves to isolate us, draw us inward, and keep us disconnected from others. Selfishness is driven by fear. And it short-circuits our true desire for a meaningful life with a very sad substitute.

This is why Shantideva said, “All the joy the world contains has come through wishing happiness for others. All the misery the world contains has come through wanting pleasure for oneself.” Our joy- lasting joy- cannot arise from selfishness. It requires openness and kindness and presence to others. The world’s designed for connection, and anytime we try to work against that, we suffer. And others do, too.

So what does it mean to put this into action? Thubten Chodron writes, “First we contemplate that just as I want happiness and to be free of suffering, so does everybody else. There’s no difference
among all sentient beings in that respect. Then, we contemplate that all our own suffering comes from the self-centered thought that is preoccupied with Me, I, My, and Mine.” She continues to explain that self-centeredness is a “distorted mental state” because it only separates us from others and creates disharmony all around us. In the end, nobody gets what they want!

Instead, we can remember how everyone desires to live with meaning and joy. And the best path to attain it is together. The approach of “looking out for number one” is a moral failing- and worse, it won’t work!

Of course, in no way does this mean that we completely disregard our own well-being. We don’t have to sacrifice our happiness; we only have to see that our happiness doesn’t matter any more than anyone else’s. The real wisdom question asks: what will serve the needs of everyone best?

One way to consider others is through the practice of tonglen, where we choose to take in the suffering of others and send love and compassion to them instead. Dilgho Khyentse invites us to consider our hearts as “a brilliant ball of light.” We can imagine sending that light to everyone and everything, and then imagine bringing in all the suffering and pain in such a way that the light within makes it disappear and cause no more harm. This practice teaches us to cherish the happiness of others, to long for it. It softens our hearts.

How can you expand your awareness to consider others today?