One thing I’m learning as I attempt to practice Right Intention: there is joy in staying in your lane. As you might imagine, it feels a little overwhelming to try to be mindful of every intention throughout the day. It’s a big undertaking just to notice a few of them, really! But here’s something I’ve noticed: as expansive as Right Intention can feel, it’s also mercifully limited.

Think about it: we are only responsible for our intention. We are not, in this moment, on the hook for whatever happens when that intention hits the real world. Which is a relief. Because I don’t know about you, but I have had very good intentions that did not land squarely where I wanted them to go. They were not received in the way I intended. In other words, my intentions regularly backfire.

And that’s okay. Afterward, we can learn from what worked and what didn’t. That is definitely our responsibility, so we can try to do less harm next time around. But in the moment of intention? We can only do what we can do, seeing what we see.

We’re human. We can be okay with that.

I feel like the idea of staying in your lane comes up a lot for me as a parent. As much as I want my kids to take responsibility for their own actions, I also want them to learn what they don’t control. They can say something kind, and it can make someone flare up. They can offer hospitality, and someone can reject it. At some point, you’ve gotta learn that you can only do what you can do. You don’t get to be in control of how people react to it. That isn’t your burden to bear. (And, side note: no amount of people pleasing or ‘doing everything right’ is going to insulate you from people reacting badly to you sometimes. Sometimes you do it exactly right and it still backfires.)

I get a lot of practice at this being a writer, too. I write as best I can with clear intention. But sometimes people take something completely surprising from my words. Sometimes whatever I write hits a nerve and people react. I try to respond appropriately to these and learn as I can. But when I sit down to write, I know to stay in my lane: do my best. Write with good intention. Let go of any control I have over how people receive it.

It’s so hard. But it’s also so very freeing.

Watch your intentions this week. Be mindful of what’s in your heart and how it overflows into your actions. And also: find the joy of staying in your lane. Let go of the idea that you can control how other people receive you. Just do your best with the clearest intentions possible.

This post is part of my series on practicing the Eightfold Path. You can read all my posts on Right Intention here.